Thursday, September 6, 2018

People are people

If you are a coach, just be you. I could have gone on further to say; be a coach that always does what you say and teach but here is the problem with that, there will be a time when you fail your title as the "Perfect Role Model" and at that moment you will be hung out to dry by one or many who have at some point been offended by you because of their child's' playtime, position, or line up spot. Of course Coach, you probably have done a 1000 things right, yet the half of dozen things you got wrong will be your demise.

COACHES DID YOU KNOW-You are suppose to be the one person in the world who is free of all mistakes, loving and supporting each child as your own, making each player better regardless of talent and commitment, letting the mindless and careless mistakes drip off your back like golden rain, always be positive and encouraging regardless of wins or losses, understand and fulfill each parents ideas and demands, should I go on.....let's get real people, if this is the expectation of parents, why can't they even follow this perfect outline within their own family of 5 or less. Which would mean they would be sending us perfect kids from perfect parents, and we then could be perfect coaches. Really??!!!

The Ugly Truth is I had to work very hard to not let my emotions show after losing to a team we should have beat, because I was pissed. I had to bite my tongue when parents voiced their continuous expectations for their child's position or playtime, when they were not in the same hemisphere of reality considering the childs natural talent. How do you encourage a child who knows it all, or has a parent who knows it all? I never seemed to be able to tell a child that they were going to be great in a position, that I knew in my heart was NEVER going to happen. When I worked hard on not letting my emotions get in the way of coaching a group of girls to their greatest ability as a whole, I was thought of as insensitive, and only cared about winning. When I became shamed down enough by parents, I would soften up, and the purpose of the sport that I knew it to be, would vanish from my heart and the field. Then you find yourself in a place of confusion. Personally, loving the sport as I do, and very confident with "my level" of knowledge, I decided that for my own sanity, I would just be me, a softball coach who was there to strengthen the abilities of each player as I see fit. I would speak the truth, coach what I knew, and play to win. And that didn't work out so well after all, but here is what I learned....

I turned in the coaching hat, obviously not by choice but by lack of players and went off to join a team that offered networking, showcase travel, and had a good reputation among college coaches. This was the best decision for my daughter, after something I thought was so heartbreaking, actually turned into a blessing. Having my daughter after a season say to me, "Hey Mom, just want you to know, you were a great coach, and I am who I am because of you. See there are issues everywhere you go, there is no perfect team, but what I learned that is most important is how I mentally handle it. Its never going to be perfect, I just have to be the best me. They can like me, not like me, but I love this game to much to allow anyone to steal it from me." For the player or coach, I learned that if your heart is in the right place, and the true love and commitment is there, judgement will come and go, but you can never let it define you. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and if someone is offended, that is there issue to handle. Don't own it!!

Parents need to back off, let the players learn that nothing is perfect, people make mistakes, people don't always agree, and life isn't always fair. Parents, Coaches and Players, people will hurt you, you will hurt people, people will talk about you, you will talk about people, people will judge you, and you will judge, people are people and none of us are perfect so don't act like you are, and things may just be a little easier.

**My blog is about to hit 50,000, first thank you for reading, whether you like it or not. And should you like it, share it. This is not about right or wrong, this is The Ugly Truth, as I know it!!

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